Can it change

I would have been seeing my boyfriend for a year now, had I not have been a complete idiot (D3 Gold).

I found out I was sick, and rather than let him watch me go through this like I had to with somene in my life, I said things to hurt him on purpose so that he would walk away from me and let me go. However, I didnt really want that I wanted him to realize that it was my sickness talking and he would understand and still be by my side. I love him still and I know he still loves me even though he wont admit it. I hurt him badly I know I did, but now Im alone in this fight and hurt that I was so stupid and regret it more than you can imagine. Is it possible that he will come around again and forgive me or should I cut my losses and move on. He said he doesnt want to talk to me at all anymore and that he has moved on, but he has said that before and came back to me (D3 Gold). And now I found out that he has a date this weekend with someone else. I know I screwed up but if there is any way of fixing it I want to try. Any advice? Or should I just forget him.

So no, you should not try to get him back. Building a relationship around repeatedly playing some stupid mind-fuck game of testing your partner by hurting them and then seeing if they'll put up with it and come crawling back for more of your dysfunctional selfish behavior is exactly as twisted and shitty as I just made it sound. Leave the poor guy alone, focus on your recovery and don't repeat this nonsense in your future relationships.